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I wish i can change country. Change school . Change friends . Change life. Change my spiritual status . I wish i can love like how God loves . I wish i can forgive like how God forgives . I wish i can live life to the fullest with God but i don't know . I don't know how to desire . I don't know how to love God . I don't know anything.

Lyrics that are like totally linked to my life.

My Wish - Lena Park ; The Heirs OST. "Smile brightly, don’t worry about me I’m smiling like this right now I won’t be able to forget, I’ll be the only one who remembers us I won’t forget you, so go ahead and smile Smile brightly, I’m just thankful Because I have memories with you I can hide them and take them out when I’m alone It will strengthen me when I miss you Only with my heart, I steal you Only with my heart, I will hug you That’s enough for me so don’t hurt because of me Just locking eyes with you makes me shed tears When time passes and our love grows There will be times when I resent you so it’s a relief Because I will remember you being affectionate and the days when you hugged me So it’s good Only with my heart, I steal you Only with my heart, I will hug you That’s enough for me so don’t hurt because of me Just locking eyes with you makes me shed tears If we run into each other like fate, please pass me by like you don’t know me Even though my heart will cry like it has been torn into two So I can see you for a short moment while you pass by Only with my heart, I will want you Only with my heart, I will kiss you Don’t be sorry, this is my life Whether you love me or feel sorry, I feel the same way " ... I can link my life with 3/4 or more of the lyrics. The only 1/4 is the part "the days when you hugged me" haha other than that the rest is all so link able and all. Sigh...

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He doesn't know . Everytime I'm sad , he doesn't know . He only knows when I'm happy . Or perhaps sometimes when I'm happy , he doesn't know too . He doesn't know anything about me . He can't see through my fake smiles , fake texts . He can't see my sorrows . He doesn't realise things about me until people asks me if I'm ok . He doesn't realise anything bout me until someone said smth . He won't realise and he doesn't realise and it seems like he never will and he never knows . It seems like he doesn't like me at all. Yes he don't . Why does it just feel like he gives me false hopes or was it just me ... I guess it's just me ...

This moment. 040314.

That period of time where you just want to shut the doors on everyone and just cry it all out alone in your own room. That moment when you just don't want to text anyone . That moment where you feel like you're annoying to everyone . That moment when you just break down when someone just stop replying you. That moment when you just feel like picking up something sharp and your wrist starts calling out your name. If only i can just take up any sharp material now but i can't . I want to stop cutting yes i said i would it's so tempting all i could only do is to cry it all out . I want to shout so badly.