ㅠㅠscrewed up lifeㅠㅠ

i am not ashamed of coming from a poor family , but all I want is just more money. everything needs money nowadays , tickets to convert , tickets to overseas , food , everything. all because of money , I am unable to do things that I want. yes , many times I hate myself for being born in this kind of family condition , but i never once hated myself for having my parents. I know what they go through and all just to bring me up and I appreciate them a lot but all I ask for is for them to have more cash , more money . everyone of my friends are bragging about being able to go to all concerts and being able to go overseas as and when they can and having all those branded stuffs. I DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT BRANDED THINGS LIKE WHY DO U EVEN NEED IT , not like you can marry or eat it or not like it can cheer U up and fan service you or whatever shit. I just want a better life. yes my life is good now and I really thank God for putting me in this family but i just ask for more excess cash , life is getting tougher each day. more and more financial problems starts coming. i see my parents working their asses off everyday but the amount of money we have never seems to increase. I wish for brothers who knows how to save, why do people need to eat expensive food like buffets ? wtf once in a life time not enough? I really hate myself FUCKING HATE MYSELF. WHY DO I ALWAYS WANT TO GO CONCERTS ?! Though I've only been to two but tbh it's not "ONLY" coz wtf all the money I earned through working and my parents and god-parents working , all gone to waste just like that. BTS IS COMING TO SG AND NOW I FUCKING WANNA GO CAUSE I CAN MEET AND TALK TO THEM , so much more worth it but wtf ? I don't even have the money anymore. WHY CAN'T I HAVE A LITTLE MORE BETTER LIFE ? WHY CAN'T I HAVE JUST THAT ABILITY TO DO ANYTHING I WANT LIKE MY OTHER FRIENDS ? WHY ARE THEY ALL SO GOOD LIFE AND IM HERE LIKE A FREAKING SCREWED UP KID ? WHY IS LIFE SO FCUKING EVIL ? GAHGAHAGSISGKSBSLAHAGIA URGH AND OTHER THAN BLOGGING I HAVE NO WHERE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS. FINALLY. BLOG.