100214'

"Why do i keep running from the truth , all i ever think about is you . You got me hypnotise so mesmerise and i just got to know . Do you ever think when you're all alone . Am i crazy or falling in love ? Is it really just another crush ? Do you catch a breath when i look at you , are you holding back like the way i do ? Cause i try and try to walk away but i know this crush ain't going away." When you see me do you even think of saying hi to me ? I doubt so. When you talk to other girls , have you even thought about how i would feel ? If I told you i am jealous , would you have even stopped ? When you text other girls , will you even remember to text me ? We're just friend but is there more ? It's just like I'm invisible to you , everytime texting and spamming you with texts but i get no replies or perhaps just a few . I'm tired of trying but why can't i just give up , everytime i look at you it just makes me break down deep inside. I'm tired of texting you and not getting any replies , I'm tired of being happy , I'm tired of trying , I'm tired of life , I'm tired of acting happy , I'm tired of hiding my sadness , I'm tired of not having anyone who cares , I'm tired of having FAKE people who cares , I'm also tired of you and I'm tired of everyone , tired of pleasing all of you , I'm tired of not pleasing God. I'm tired. "They say have courage and I'm trying to" but I've tried enough. I really want to stop trying and stop getting hurt. Just looking at the schools and choices i am able to choose in the future , i just feel like breaking down cause i know that we will never meet again and we will never be meant for each other. I guess this is 'first love'. Everyone says that 'first love' doesn't work. Seems like it too. A crush that lasted for more than 3 years is considered a love right. Moving on seems easy but doing it is hard . #giveup #moveon #tough #sighs #breakingdown but nobody even cares. And today had to umpire 3 single NZ matches for CBoys cocked up at the starting of the second match and was super scared it thank God i prayed for his help and he helped me and the other half of the match went out perfectly muacks.